What if? How to stop catastrophising

What if? - How to stop catastrophising

Have you ever cuddled your child at night and had thoughts about them becoming ill? Or worse? Maybe you worry about your finances post divorce. Will you be able to pay the mortgage? Will you ever find a job? Will you ever be happy again?

Catastrophising is when someone assumes that the worst will happen. Often, it involves believing that you’re in a worse situation than you really are or exaggerating the difficulties you face.

For example, you might worry about a mistake you made at work. From there, you might assume that you will lose your job, this means you are a failure and will be unemployable. 

If you have experienced a divorce you might be thinking “Well I was right to catastrophise. The worst did happen”. Often this then escalates into, my divorce means I won’t be able to pay the mortgage, which means I will lose the house, which means I will have to move to a new area, which means my children will have to leave their school….it’s like a snowball. 

The more you catastrophise, the worse you will feel until suddenly that thing you're worried about - the school - for example will happen. It’s just a case of when.

Here are three tips to help you stop catastrophising

1. Ask yourself are your thoughts real or are they stories you are telling yourself. This can interrupt the flow of thoughts.
2. When you start to recognise the way the thought process is going, bring yourself back to the present moment. Breathe, listen to some music or focus on a task. 
3. Change the narrative in your head. If you are worried about paying the mortgage, what action can you take? Are there practical steps that you can put into place?

If you think the catastrophising is getting worse or your anxiety levels are increasing please do talk to an expert. Your GP can guide you to the right place.